Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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