okay pat passed out under dana's car
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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