Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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