Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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