Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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