he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
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She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
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I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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