Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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