I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize