You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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