You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
high people should be assigned attendants
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize