remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize