And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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