i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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