I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize