I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize