i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
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It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
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I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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