Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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