drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize