well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
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All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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