he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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