I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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