if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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