I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize