I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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