He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize