Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize