And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
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Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
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The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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