You're so nebulous sometimes
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize