wanna go halves on a baby?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
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I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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