take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize