He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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