Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize