I think my fart just growled at me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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