They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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