ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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