This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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