I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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