I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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