i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize