His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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