i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
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I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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