the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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