Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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