theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize