my room smells like sperm. sweet.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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