I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My ass is underappreciated
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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