STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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