My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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