i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
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The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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