I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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