She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize